I am still debating my next move.
I have a few options. First, I can continue to try and get "religious ex" to agree and show up to Zavlah. Second, I can go to court and try and get to enforce their decision that the financial components need to be resolved at a Din Torah. Third, I can do this the hard way and fight it out in public.
My lawyers are split, one wants to go for a contempt charge, the other says to keep at the Bais Din process, eventually she will have to show up.
There is one item which may not be perfectly clear. There already was a Shtar Brurin signed. As the Bais Din was nearing a decision on finances, her lawyers informed the Bais Din that she would go to court anyway. She did not listen to a number of the Bais Din's interim decisions so they believed her. Rather than being embarrassed by this, the original Shlish in the case resigned. I wish they had issued a ruling, it could have been enforced under the law. This took place 3 years ago.
"Religious ex" proceeded to the court system. The Court ordered her back to Bais Din more than 2 years ago.
If it sounds complicated, it is :-(
So one more time, why did I give that "get"?
I wish I was not a decent person, life would be much easier.......
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About Me
- Gave A Get
- I am a divorced man questioning the wisdom of giving a "get" with no strings attached. over 6 YEARS after giving a Get and hundreds of thousand of dollars in legal, Bais Din and other costs, I finally have a divorce
The Players - Update 12/2009
1. Religious Ex - The woman I was married to for 15 years and have 3 children with. She has a Get for over 5 1/2 years.
2. Dayan 1 - The first Dayan appointed by Religious Ex after ordered to by the Court, I'm not sure he ever existed.
3. Dayan 2 - The second Daya appointed by Religious Ex. He lives out of town. He's been replaced.
4. Dayan 3. The new Dayan representing Religious Ex. He's been replaced.
5. Mutual Friend - Has spend 4 months trying to negotiate a deal ( the 6th person to try) and got frustrated (like the rest) with Religious Ex
6. My Rav - The Dayan representing me
7. My 3 Children - that I did not see for 2+ years. I gave up custody after a protracted battle in which they were used as pawns by "religious ex" for money. Two of them are now coming to visit. This makes me happy!
8. The Court - Two Levels of the court system in the state that I live.
9. The Shlish - the neutral Dayan that has been agreed upon by our Dayanim. He's been replaced.
2. Dayan 1 - The first Dayan appointed by Religious Ex after ordered to by the Court, I'm not sure he ever existed.
3. Dayan 2 - The second Daya appointed by Religious Ex. He lives out of town. He's been replaced.
4. Dayan 3. The new Dayan representing Religious Ex. He's been replaced.
5. Mutual Friend - Has spend 4 months trying to negotiate a deal ( the 6th person to try) and got frustrated (like the rest) with Religious Ex
6. My Rav - The Dayan representing me
7. My 3 Children - that I did not see for 2+ years. I gave up custody after a protracted battle in which they were used as pawns by "religious ex" for money. Two of them are now coming to visit. This makes me happy!
8. The Court - Two Levels of the court system in the state that I live.
9. The Shlish - the neutral Dayan that has been agreed upon by our Dayanim. He's been replaced.
10. Dayan 4. "Religious Ex's" latest Borer. He worked hard for her and got her more than a simple reading of the halacha would suggest.
11. New Shlish. The neutral Dayan agreed upon by Dayan 4 and My Rav.
12. Chaya Gitty Rosenberg, who is close to "Religious Ex". Very supportive of her court actions. A real hypocrite.
13. The Askan. A Gentleman from the community where Religious-Ex grew up. He is the only person who she is willing to listen to. Has done incredible job getting 2 kids to talk to me.
14. Askan-2. A very holy man who has been involved with this case since day 1.
12. Chaya Gitty Rosenberg, who is close to "Religious Ex". Very supportive of her court actions. A real hypocrite.
13. The Askan. A Gentleman from the community where Religious-Ex grew up. He is the only person who she is willing to listen to. Has done incredible job getting 2 kids to talk to me.
14. Askan-2. A very holy man who has been involved with this case since day 1.
7 comments:
You need to take the get out of the equation.
First of all, it's done; it's academic. You can't take it back. So there's no point in wishing otherwise.
Secondly, a get isn't a weapon or a bargaining chip. It's a Jewish bill of divorce. You divorced your wife, and you did the correct thing by not holding her chained to you. congratulations- you are now in the same situation as almost every other divorcing man, slugging it out in courts. If you weren't Jewish or observant, this is the way it would have gone anyway, with no get to hold as leverage. Withholding a get would not have magically made this situation any better- it would have only caused further damage between you and the mother of your children, and of course, the children.
NJC, I cannot for the life of me see how it could be worse. She is out to destroy me, my kids don't want to have anything to do with me. It would have been cheaper the other way...
One thing. Are you guys CIVILLY divorced? Because if not, she can't legally marry either and that MUST be holding up her life as well! I still say, even with the shtar Birurun, go back to court and let them know SHE is not abiding by Bais Din. This WILL put her in contempt and get her in trouble and possibly moving, by court order, in the right direction. And as I mentioned previously, don't worry about publicity or chilulei Hashem. If anyone here is committing a Chilul Hashem, it's the "Religious" Ex.
We are not civilly divorced.
why don't you contact an Agun (left off the "a") organization for help?
Get yourself a couple of heavy duty toyens.
Hey! Where'd you go? How come no updates?
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